Dating a manipulator
Have you ever had a partner who was so in your head that all of a sudden, you woke up and realized you were willingly doing things you'd never usually agree to? Manipulation in a relationship is a serious problem because it's sneaky.
Master manipulators can twist your words and actions so that it seems like every mistake you've ever made was your idea.
Like, "You know you can just ask me to go to the store. Emotional blackmail is ugly and there are not many ways it can result in a healthy relationship.
It looks like, "I'll kill myself if you leave." Or, it can also look like, "I would die without you." It can be dramatic or casual.
" Or even, "If you really loved me, you'd change your mind about having a baby." This one uses guilt and emotion to try to prod or shame you into doing something.
It's a form of manipulation no matter how innocent it sounds. Say something like, "I can still love you with my whole heart without going to the store to get you ice cream." You can also ask for more direct communication.
Most people don't even realize they're being manipulated until it's too late. While you might not catch it every time (some manipulators are just that good) there are some signs that your partner is in your head.
If you spot them, it can help you train yourself to better recognize when you're being manipulated.
Your partner can't help you with the housework because they have a headache or don't have the energy.
Check Out: Psychopath Free: Recovering from Emotionally Abusive Relationships , , Amazon This is one of the less subtle (and easier to recognize) forms of manipulation. But the look on their face and the tone in their voice says you better clean out their car or something bad is going to go down. Later they may say things like, "You didn't have to do that.
Say, for example, your partner asks you if you want to clean out their car. you could have said no." This makes the look like the good guy, like it's your fault you didn't get your work done because you were too bust leaning out their car. What to do: This is a tough answer because sometimes it's safer to just do what the manipulator wants at the time and then figure out how to escape later.
When I worked with couples as a Domestic Violence Victim Advocate and Planned Parenthood Certified Responsible Sexuality Educator, manipulation was a huge topic of interest.
It's a common weapon used by abusers and controlling partners because it's hard to prove, it makes the abuse feel like it's your own fault, and it's easy to get away with.